tired and uinspired
by eden's garden
Summary: moving around all the time can take a lot out of you. becoming a wolf can take a lot out of you. imprinting on a girl who moves around a lot can be difficult. but Embry wont give up, she cant resist the imprint forever.


**Disclaimer: I will never, ever own a sparkly vampire that is something I have come to accept.**

**AN: this story was inspired by Tired and Uninspired by my American heart. Don't ask me how it just did. And also I've always liked Emby and have been meaning to write this story for a while now but I just never had the time and also I wasn't even sure it was worth writing but I finally got fed up with ****All these ideas floating around in my head and decided to write this story, even if no one else likes it I do and what's the point of writing it if I'm not going to post it.**

Home, was always quiet 'til the sun went down.  
But we were stowaways.  
Yeah, we were so afraid.

So, we ran out of town.  
From everyone who was calling us out.  
Relax, relax.  
Exhale and breathe, just breathe for me.

**My American Heart-Tired and Uninspired  
**

The road ahead was new yet so familiar, we'd been on this road more times than I can count and everytime we stop I find myself wishing it's the last time…but it never is instead its like a pitstop except here you stay a little while longer you make friends and you adjust you finally think your fitting in and then, you have to leave. Eventually you stop wishing and start expecting, you stop making friends, you quit trying to fit in, you just stop and you start to blend in with the lockers you go unnoticed and then its time to leave and it hurts less.

I've been doing this for as long as I remember, ever since he left we've been travelling this endless road…and we cant hate her because the truth is we're all she's got and if we leave then where will she go?

I love my mother, more anything in the world my family is everything to me. My mother, with her hippy-van we all helped paint a few summers back – when we actually stayed in one place the entire summer- and her beautiful elfin features, you'd swear she stepped off the pages of lord of the rings…the spitting image of Liv Tyler. My oldest brother, Aaron, his off conquering the world one textbook at a time –the perfect Yale specimen- he got our dads looks, ginger hair, freckles, forest green eyes and a smile that sent may a girl swooning, then theres Dylan my baby brother, my best friend Dylans the spitting image of my mom pale ivory skin, high cheek bones, huge crystal blue manga eyes and the warmest smile in the world, his my rock. Dylan keeps me sane, his wise beyond his years and sometimes I think his the one raising us the calm level headed adult looking after two reckless teenage girls.

And me, Teagan Byrnes I love long walks on the beach…JOKES, no I'm sarcastic as hell, I never know when to shut up and half the time I'm gald we move around so much I dout I'd be able to handle the claustraphobic feeling small towns give off for to long and then the other part of me hates having to leave so much behind…but that's life I guess. Now me, I'm a mix concerning not only my personal atributes but my appearance as well, it's sort of like my genes couldnt decide who'd be dominant I have my mothers Ivory complexion, my dads ginger hair, moms cheek bones and then these really wack blue-green eyes and to top it all off I have a slight sprinkle of freckles on the bridge of my nose. Yup I look kind of weird, but then again nothing about me is exactly normal.

We're headed for Forks, this insanely tiny town where I'm sure nothing worth writng about ever happens and we'll be gone before you can say 'three months'.

"why are we headed to nowhere's vill again, I need reminding" I slured through my sleep from the back of the van, my neck was awkwardly stiff when I moved it felt like it would fall off, maybe sprawling out on the beanbag was not the best choice for a resting spot.

"Forks is a cool name, I'm trying to go to as many weirdly named places as possible…still looking for Spoons, or maybe Spatula?" my mothers sad attempt at humour had no one cracking up, but it was a long day so I ommited my default sarcastic remark,

instead I turned to Dylan who was busy typing away like a five year old on a sugar high. Always so busy.

"Dylan?"

Without looking up from his PC "you'll love forks, it has a forest and it rains constantly, very grey and green just the way you like it, but the best part for you anyway is that a mere fifteen minutes away from said tiny town is a cold, wet and very depressing beach…like I said you'll love it, the perfect setting for all your pictures"

"How do you know all this stuff, Mom just said we were going to 'a town called Forks' when did you become the expert?" I asked half-assed not really caring, my brother he was full of useless and uninteresting facts like that.

"I Google-earthed it, then wikipedia filled in the rest" what a nerd, seriously my little brother was starting to become more and more like a walking, talking encyclopedia everyday

"You know D, that right there was sort of…uhh…-

"Dorkey, yeah I know but I heard Nerds are now hot so I think I'll release my inner Geek"

Ladies and Gentlemen: a future ladies man in the making, "Wow D, didn't realise you were so suave, so when are we getting there?"

I heard Dylan scoff and turned to face him once again, shot him my famous 'uh…what' look and was rewarded with a primo eyerole and a "your patience astounds me"

But before I could honour him with an incredibly snarky comeback mom interupted us with "hey guys check it out, **the city of Forks welcomes you**,"

"welcome to Forks population, **0**" the truth was as irritable and snarky as I sounded I didn't think Forks was such a bad place really, weird as hell name and incredibly tiny but not bad, honestly I was…maybe a little excited, I'll just brush it off as a new experience…or one so familiar its become a little exciting.

'Actually, the population is 3192" whoa, its gigantic how will I ever find my way around the place? But just as I'm about to voice my clever little thought (okay they're kind of annoying and not so much clever) my mother yet again foils my plans and announces in an eerily cheery voice that,

"We're here! Isn't it beautiful?" not really, it's pretty average, actually a realtors dream job this house could get sold a million times over, white picket fence, the perfect red door and an oak tree right outside what I would soon claim as my room. Its not beautiful, but it has a certain charm a quaint cosey feeling to it and then it becomes clear I might grow attached which is bad but theres nothing I can do about it now.

"I call the room on the top, second from the right the one just opposite the oak tree" I spit out right before running into the house overstuffed duffle bag in hand.

Inside is even cheesier than the outside, your typical movie home with a perfect prom entrance staircase, a mahogany banister and wouldn't you know it a perfectly cosey foyer, I didn't stop to check out the rest of the Downstairs instead I dashed on up-yes deshed, I dashed- straight to the second room on the right and was greeted with a perfectly varnished door that looked way to cool to be the entrance to a second floor bedroom, but it was and then I stepped inside and it was perfect, one big ass window, but the best part was that it wasn't square, it was all kinds of angles, the ceiling slanted down slightly and the window pushed out a little with a cute window seat those ones you could sleep on- excellent, one closet which was okay seeing as my wardrobe isnt exactly extensive a double bed that took up almost half the space in the tiny angular room a dresser –not big at all- and a small desk perfect for a laptop and homework, I'd have to put up a shelf for my little carry-on library but that was fine. All of theses thig were mine though save the closet which I'm sure the previous owners don't miss at all, now I just had get all that stuff up here…but that's what movers are for

"My room is way bigger, haha loser" yes that would be my mother, no she didn't revert to the age of ten, she's just adult like that, "but I really wanted the oak tree view…hey wana swap??"

I shot her Teagans look of 'what the hell?" No.5 and she shut not before mumbling something about "big meanies and who's the mother around here" seriously I love my mother t bits but honestly 'big meanie' yeah mom, real mature.

"are you two arguing again, I swear I'm going to have to separate the both of you or give you a time out or something"

"Yes dad" hey I couldn't help it, he really should start acting like the 14 year old he is and not some middle aged office worker who just came home after a 9-5 shift to find his daughters at each others necks yet again, coz yu know we're not always arguing and he is still my baby brother!

"Now young lady…" he began in a mock stern voice before we noticed mom had gone completely quiet, I looked up to find a vacant far off expression imprinted on her face…shit man, why'd I D word? I'm such an idiot. Dylan noticed to and shot me a worried look, tonight was going to be one of those nights, staying up late making sure mom doesn't do anything reckless at least I'll have D's help, his fourteen now I cant protect him from our mothers little problem forever.

"Dylan go make some tea the way mom like it, I'll bring her down in a second-" then turning my attention back to my mother "hey, Lenny snap out of it, it's okay we're here and we're not leaving okay"

This is why I hate him, he broke her and now we're left to pick up the pieces.

~%~%~%~%~%~

"Embry Call, is this the time to come home? You promised me you'd stop sneaking out…what am I going to do with you?"

That was the customery greeting ever since I started phasing, I was always in trouble, constantly grounded – not that it mattered much, I had a duty to fulfill and no dumbass punishment was going to stop me- but it still stung every time mom looked at me with those eyes, dissapointment and hidden guilt she thought this was somehow her fault. And the scary thing is, part of me thought so to, I mean whoever my dad is, was married, had a family a whole other life, she had to have known that but then I feel like shit for even thinking like that. For as long as I can remember its just been me and my mom, it really does kill me to lie to her like this but what else can I do…yeah same said I could tell her but that doesn't seem right it's a pack secret only the elders and the imprints know, I wont let them make exceptions for me, that's what I tell them but really its because that will only lead to more questions, questions that are best left unanswered. Honestly I don't want to know who he is, but a part of me a really sick sado-masochistic part of me needs to know, I mean he's the whole reason I am the way I am, also I'd like to know if my dad saw me everyday from the moment my mom and I came here, looked right at me, knew who I was and just left it at that. I just want to know why any of really happened.

"Sorry mom, I had to g-

"That's enough, I've heard it all before now just go to your room, really Embry I don't know what to do anymore" don't do anything just let me do what I have to, what need to do.

I didn't say anything back, I – couldn't I mean what was I supposed to say, 'yeah, well how about telling me who my dad is? That's a start' I couldn't, I cant it would crush her, and she doesn't deserve that, it doesn't matter what mistakes she made in the past she's my mother and I wont hurt her like that. So I guess I'm stuck playing the role of rebelious teen, the worst part though is that this hurts her just as much, like I'm acting out because of my lack of a father figure.

In my room I collapse on my bed from exhaustion, I'll try to catch a few Z's but I have another sift in about five hours, I promised Quil I'd cover for him now that Clair's sick with a fever his been at the Young residence 24/7, I'll never understand that dedication, part of me envies it a little its not just a one way street the bond works both ways, little Clair is so protective of her Qwil that we're not allowed to tease him in front of her or face the wrath of a four year old, and you think its funny believe me its not. Then the other part of me is glad that I don't have an imprint, I can choose for myself you know, live my own life or whatever this is.

Or maybe I'm just scared I'll end up like my father, I mean I know you cant hurt your imprint but the fear is still there what if I cant be everything she needs. Hopefully I'll never have to find out.

~%~%~%~%~%~%~

What I hate most about moving, High School! Seriously it's the same everywhere and it doesn't matter how many time you've done it being the new kid sucks ass. It's not the lame little welcome the teaches give you and then a week from now they'll have forgotten who you are or treat you the same as anybody else so why not just start out like that, its no the many kids who cast you odd looks because you're new and apparantly that's somehow strange and unusual, its not all the work you have to catch up on no the worst thing about starting at a new school is all the kids who are nice to you, they're all very nice and they always try to make you fit in, they show you around and invite you to place, they basically include you in everything you were never a part of and I hate it because that's when you start forming friendships, you become attached and leaving becomes even harder. Enough, I hate wallowing in self pity, even if it is incredibly fun, notice my sarcasm.

"You ready?" are you ever ready, answer no but I cant let Dylan see that his already got so much to deal with. So I put on my best 'are you kidding me voice' and say

"Dude, when am I not ready" he roles his at me and I smirk something I'm known to do since when I samile I apparantly look like Christian Bale in American psycho which yeah, is something every girl –no matter how hardcore- wants to hear.

"Come on kid, we have a first day of school to conquer"

As far first days go, this one wasn't that bad on a scale of one to ten I'd give a five maybe a six, like I said not that bad. First order of business was simple go to the front office retrieve schedule, make sure Dylan gets safely to his first class without making him look like a complete looser that needs his sister wherever he goes, because truthfully its really the other way aound. Then make sure you get to class safely, avoid eye contact with as many people as possible, once all this is complete its really not that hard.

But then lunch rolled in, Dylan found us a nice little table in the middle of nowhere, because naturally if your trying to make people not notice you do not become the anti-social kids in the furthest corner of the cafeteria, no you try to blend in and if you can do that you can go unnoticed. Unfortunately, the students at Forks high are a lot more perceptive than I gave them credit for and much to my dismay and Dylans amusement (at my reaction) they somehow thwarted my plans and sat down at our table.

Actually it was only two of them a girl and a boy, the girl looked like she was in charge or at least had this overwhelming prescence of just being there, the boy was more subdued and compared to his friend very laid back he was also in my history class I remember because he smiled at me in my moment of weakness when I actually took in my surroundings, he was seated in the next row two seats in front of me, I might have grimaced in return which I'm thinking was my unintentional invitation to lunch.

"Hi, I'm Poppy your Teagan right? It's so nice to meet you I just know we'll be great friends, right Chace" the girl, Poppy blurted out in this sure of herself fast talking buzz, I decided that I liked her she was a little weird and even though I didn't want to make any friends I knew that ingnoring Poppy and her Platinum Blonde curls would not be easy, Poppy looked like a young Courtney love, Dark eyes, Red lips, a leather waist coat and fishnet stockings a regular rebel.

Her Friend Chace shrugged his dark brown hair flopping in his face and smiled "I'm Chace, obviously" I decided that I liked him he was quiet and the perfect calm to Poppy's upbeat personality. Not liking them was definatley not an option.

"Yeah I'm Teagan, this is my brother Dylan" I pointed a thumb in D's direction but he was looking elsewhere not even paying attention to us, which was so unlike him he was always the attentive one, I followed the direction of his gaze and saw cute little girl about D's age with long frizzy hair and braces. Interesting very interesting.

"Anyway, what are you guys doing here?" it was blunt I know but I felt like I could be straight with these two, and my lack of tact was rewarded with,

"Cain is being a Jackass, I refuse to have lunch with him until he appologizes" Poppy replied indignantly

"Cain's her brother, you'll see him around school look for a brooding, dark clothes wearing muso with ciggarette tucked between lips and that would be Cain" Chace explained when I llooked at him blankly

"Right, so he's the weirdo staring at us?" I asked tilting my head in the direction of the boy Chace just described, I looked back at Chace who nodded in affirmation before Poppy interupted with "oh, I know you and your brother should totally come with us to first beach this Saturday, it's supposed to be sunny"

I prefer my beaches over cast and gloomy but what the hell it's not like I had anything better to do. "why not"

~%~%~%~%~%~%~

I loved cliff diving. It was such a rush, an instant release I completely forgot about all my angst for the few seconds that I was suspended in the air nothing else mattered, everything was perfect. And really nothings wrong, it's just a while lot of emotional crap that I have to deal with.

I made my way to the edge of the cliff, the girls were with today well Kim and Rachel, Sam and Emily were at home and Clair still had that fever no way was Quil leaving her side but the others were here even Jacob mostly because Blondie claimed Nessie for the day. Rachel was basking in what little sun she could while Kim had Jared diving with her.

It was my turn next and as soon as Collin hit the water I was free falling into the depths of ther ocean, what a rush!

When I came back up I heard Seth talking to a giirl that wasn't Rachel or Kim, I didn't pay much attention but I did catch words like "Shirtless suicidals" and "Moronic and Dangerous" this girl was funny but luckily for Seth Rachel swept in and saved the day, reassuring the girl that Cliff diving was completely safe or at least for us anyway.

When I reached the top I saw the girl, red hair and a fancy camera, "Hey Em, just tell this girl that your not hurt, she seems to think that we're a cult of suicidals or something" the red head turned around, seth was still saying something but as soon as she faced me it was like all my senses shut down, or at least focused solely on her, she was perfect. Red, coppery hair that seemed to glow in the light, green/blue eyes and freckles on the bridge of her nose. She looked at me like I was crazy, I was probably freaking her out staring at her like this but I couldn't help it.

Then she lookes at me with this curious expression and said in a soft whisper, "Uh…I have to, um I have to go" and before I knew what was happening she was runnig back through the forest and away from me.

As soon as she was gone I felt it, this undeniable sense of loss, I needed to see her again I had to. This feeling was unbearable…

Oh shit, I just imprinted.

~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~

**okay, so that's the first chapter, kind of rushed I think but I had to get it out there. Send me a review if you have anything to say or if you hate the story and just want to tell me what a load of shit I'm writing by all means, but I'd prefer if you didn't though. **

**should i continue?? i want to so i guess i will but let me know anyways. and i know stories with OC's are generally disliked but Embry didnt imprint so i guess this is okay, and i have read some excellent stories with OC's and maybe just maybe this one isnt bad either.**

**And sorry if there's grammer and spelling mistakes I did check it but you never know. I'll do better next time.**


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